I love Gibson guitars. I really do. I’m fortunate enough to own a couple. I also enjoy window shopping cyber style by going to their website and looking at all the different models, more than a few of which I’d dearly love to include in my collection.

That all said, some of the special limited editions they come out with are a bit, shall we say, peculiar. Case in point, with text taken straight from their website plus a few comments by yours truly:

Ace Frehley “Budokan” Les Paul Custom

See? I'm not joking.

When KISS hit the stage at Nippon Budokan in Japan in 1977 with guitarist Ace Frehley behind a Cherry Sunburst, three-pickup Les Paul Custom, the entire package—band, guitarist, guitar—embodied the height of glam-rock excess and success for the ’70s. This was the ultimate marriage of pop and heavy rock, driven to meteoric heights by the record industry marketing machine, and ultimately attaining that otherworldly presence that great stadium rock should achieve: unbridled fantasy and party-hard reality rolled into one glorious explosion.

And I thought I had a problem with run-on sentences.

In celebration of Ace Frehley’s unquestionable status as a rock icon, and the epitome of glam-rock stardom that KISS represented at this crystalline moment in time in 1977,

“Crystalline” moment? Really? Is this anything like Crystal Bowersox?

Gibson Custom proudly announces the release of the Ace Frehley “Budokan” Les Paul Custom, produced in a strictly Limited Edition of 50 hand-aged guitars signed by the artist, with a further 100 hand-aged guitars, and 150 guitars treated in Gibson Custom’s VOS process.

And when you see the price, you’ll know why they’re so limited.

Offering everything you’ve come to expect from Gibson Custom’s artist replica guitars, the Ace Frehley “Budokan” Les Paul Custom is a painstaking recreation of Frehley’s modified Les Paul Custom, based on intimate examination of the instrument’s current condition.

Which somehow I doubt is pristine. Or even Christine Sixteen.

The Ace Frehley “Budokan” Les Paul Custom has been created with close cooperation between Gibson Custom, Ace Frehley and the guitar’s current owner, Matt Swanson. Digital scanning technology was used to capture every minute detail of the actual guitar.

Let’s see… strings, check; frets, check; razor blade scrapes on the back from when it was used as a table for snorting cocaine because there wasn’t a mirror handy, check…

In the image of the original Les Paul Custom, the guitar has a four-piece maple top glued to a mid-’70s “sandwich” body made from a middle and back section of solid mahogany joined by a thin maple veneer, with no chambering.

The technical term for this is “plywood.” Very, very heavy plywood, as anyone who’s ever picked up a ’70s Les Paul can attest.

The top is hand-sprayed in nitrocellulose to give it the same Heritage Cherry Sunburst finish as the original, with 150 hand-aged to match the wear of the existing guitar.

Because who wants a guitar that doesn’t look like it’s been the victim of being too close to Gene Simmons during his spitting fire routine?

The three-piece mahogany neck has been made made to match the original’s thin profile.

How nice how nice it’s been made made… or is that just talk talk… oops, wrong band.

Decorative elements include mother-of-pearl block fingerboard inlays, multi-ply body and headstock binding, mother-of-pearl Gibson headstock logo and split-diamond inlay, and a cream pickguard.

But Eric Clapton played a SG when he was in Cream!

To match Ace’s original guitar, the Ace Frehley “Budokan” Les Paul Custom is loaded

Just like Ace!

with three period-correct double-cream DiMarzio humbucking pickups—two PAF models in the neck and middle positions, and a Super Distortion in the bridge.

Translation: It has three pickups…

And just like on Ace’s guitar, the traditional 3-way toggle switch has been modified to only allow the use of the bridge pickup,

… only one of which works. The other two are there for high-priced decoration.

allowing you to be able to accomplish one of Ace’s most noted effects.

What, not being able to figure out how to use a toggle switch to select more than one pickup? Or the ol’ stick a smoke bomb underneath one of the pickups trick for which Ace was famous and is currently being used in worship bands across the land?

The DiMarzio Super Distortion pickup offers searing lead tones and fat, chunky rhythm for the ultimate hard-rock performance.

It’d better; it’s the only pickup that works.

Hardware includes the classic pairing of chrome ABR-1 bridge and stopbar tailpiece, with Ace’s choice of Grover tuners with pearloid “banjo” buttons and Dunlop straplocks to keep the guitar securely strapped on through the wildest on-stage antics.

At his age, getting on stage without a walker is as wild an antic as Ace can muster.

In short, the Ace Frehley “Budokan” Les Paul Custom is the ultimate embodiment of mid-’70s arena-rock balls and bluster, and it’s available in strictly limited numbers. Check it out today at your authorized Gibson Custom dealer.

Please.

All guitars include a Gibson Custom hardshell case silkscreened with Ace’s signature. Aged/signed guitars (limited to 50 worldwide) are all played by the artist during final approval, and include a leather-bound Certificate of Authenticity; aged guitars (100) include a leather-bound CoA, and VOS guitars (150) include a standard CoA.

Oh, well, that makes it all better then. A genuine Certificate of Authenticity!

And how much is this timeless brand new relic?

If you want the beat-up… er, aged one, the manufacturer’s suggested retail price is… drumroll, please…

$12,235.

The not beat-up one is a steal at $7,529.

Somehow I’m not seeing one of these ending up in my possession.

Taking this into NASCAR Land, a similar scenario as far as favoring an individual in a story where two people are involved has reared its ugly head, the incident in this case being the confrontation between Richard Childress and Kyle Busch this past Saturday in Kansas. Whether it’s Jenna Fryer recalling the nice things Childress said about Busch when he was a free agent, Marty Smith wondering why we all can’t get along or Bob Pockrass raking NASCAR over the coals for not doing the same to Childress, the media has made it more than apparent its sympathies lie with Busch, not Childress. Which is their right.

To a point.

One would like to believe in the media maintaining at least a semblece of objectivity when reporting the news. That said, when the constant comment is variations on a theme of poor widdle Kyle vs. big bad Richard it’s difficult to not wonder whether Busch’s status in the media as a charming rogue is clouding its ability to be fair and accurate. Which leads to the topic of whether the media is ever fair and accurate, but that’s a debate for another time.

Adding fuel to the fire is how much of NASCAR media is also engaged in social media, thus exposing themselves directly to the members of NASCAR Nation whose overwhelming sentiment is that the only thing wrong with what Childress did is not punch harder. Granted, there are times when members of the fan base embrace a position firmly rooted in the lunatic fringe; an example of this occurred earlier this year at Daytona when Fryer skipped a tweet-up due to a physical threat by an overzealous fan, offended by a perceived slight against their favorite driver. Inexcusable and unacceptable fan behavior, period. Fortunately, fringe-dwellers are few.

One of the inescapable fundamentals of social media is that it is two-way communication. There is no lording over others. If you are going to be expressing opinions, or attempting to shape the debate in your favor, you are going to hear from those who disagree, especially when the subject is one strongly felt about as is the case with NASCAR. The “don’t like it, don’t read it” whine is a pathetic attempt to divert attention from inability, or at best unwillingness, to defend what was so boldly said a moment ago. One is well advised to grow a pair and buy some skin thickener, as you will need both. As an aside, over the years I’ve been writing this blog I’ve been called every name in the book and a few new ones to boot. You have to learn how to shrug it off, or at the least respond with both barrels a-blazin’. Complaining is a complete waste of time.

All of this leads to the odd yet tangible connection between Andrew Breitbart and Richard Childress. Both have been at the heart of a major news story in their respective fields. Both have endured a less than friendly reception from the media as a result of actions. And both, to their credit, have been unapologetic. Breitbart, of course, has nothing about which to apologize, while Childress has spared all of us the non-apology (“if I have offended anyone…”) since he’s not sorry in the least for pounding on Busch. It’s quite refreshing in this era of political correctness to have a couple of genuine rogues, as opposed to Busch who never progresses beyond talking the talk, taking care of business.

I’ve learned I am anything but a corporate blogger. I can do the occasional spurts for the On Pit Row boys, but that’s a much more casual, fun atmosphere. The need to tone down the rhetoric and combativeness that characterized my pre-SBN writing has never set well. While on one hand I’m not nearly as fond of jumping into matters with both guns blazing as was the case way back when, constantly pulling back the reins didn’t and doesn’t work very well for me. Bit of a conundrum.

There’s also the disinterest factor. For whatever reason, racing isn’t nearly as compelling for me as was once the case. I’m not altogether certain as to the cause or causes. Too many dull races? Lack of rooting interest as Jeff Gordon’s career is on the descent? Another way of looking at that is the constraints I placed on myself to be more neutral when I joined SBN, which for some reason I’ve been unable to shake. It’s difficult to say.

Other factors come into play. The day job has become more demanding in recent years. There was the book, with it a fundamental shift in what matters in life which is why my other blog Goldfish and Clowns has taken precedence on those occasions when I’ve done any blogging. Death, too, has had its say; a lot of wind went out of my sails when Southern Cindi passed away, and Marc Borland of Full Throttle passing away earlier this year was a huge blow. There have been continuous issues with tendonitis and other hand problems limiting my typing time. And, certainly this year has been a long one with first my aunt passing away, thus having to deal with the process of getting her jam-packed condo cleaned out and ready to sell (a procswhich is finally finished with everything completed save the final paperwork), and then my Mom passing away. Whipping up time and enthusiasm for discussing the subtleties of how to approach the third turn at Pocono, or creating some hopefully humorous comments about the people and places of NASCAR, has taken up seemingly permanent residence on the back burner.

I’m hoping it won’t always be this way; that once again I’ll spend some time each morning perusing the NASCAR news and putting together something about same plus hopping in with updates when other things happen. I’d also like to get back to hopping down the occasional rabbit hole, since that was so much of what made the blog at its inception blissfully outside the mainstream.

Will this happen? I’m hopeful. But I don’t know.

Stay tuned.

Actually, I know exactly where every minute has gone. But that’s for another time.

In a perfect world, I’d be back to being me here on a daily basis, full of snark and snap and sentimental moments. Alas, time is most definitely not my friend these days. I don’t have enough to devote sufficient amounts toward covering NASCAR like I used to, back in the good old days when every morning found me scouring the Web for news and views upon which I could comment.

Or, concocting Looney Tunes verbiage for the sheer joy of doing so.

Perhaps one day things will slow down enough for me to none too gently remind the youngsters out there who Papa Grizzly is in these here parts. The kids these days don’t know Diecast Dude. Only those whose memories stretch back more than three or four years recall the mixture of hilarity and heart that once made this blog the first thing people would read in the morning. Whether it was for a chuckle, commentary or in hope their name wasn’t included that day is known only to the readers.

Anyway, I’m going down to the nightclub… er, Auto Club this weekend, boldly wearing my press pass and rekindling my writing chops on behalf of OnPitRow.com. I’ve promised its proprietors I’ll keep the lawsuits to a minimum.

Catch you later. Hopefully not as long a later as this one turned out to be.

• Denny Hamlin’s pit crew won the whatever it’s called challenge yesterday evening, thus guaranteeing it will be mentioned in every race going forward whenever the #11 is in for service. Especially whenever said crew makes a boo-boo. Of such is the fate awaiting those who seldom receive notice save when things go very right or very, very wrong.

• One can only hope this week’s adventures in legal beagle land have taught Jeremy Mayfield a couple of invaluable lessons. One, going up against NASCAR in court takes the old adage about bringing a knife to a gun fight to a whole ‘nuther level. Second, and far more important, get the eff away from drugs. Lest we forget, wasn’t that long ago when Mayfield made the Chase in consecutive seasons. Now he’s chasing the dragon. Not good.

• There has been much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Junior Nation over his dismal performance in the past couple of races. Which is how fans of any driver should react when their favorite is struggling. However, the let’s-blame-Lance-McGrew-and/or-Rick Hendrick-for-it-all meme needs to go in the round file. They’re not driving the car, and they’re not the one who since the 2008 Chase have been looking, acting and speaking like a whipped puppy.

  I like Dale Jr. A lot. But in racing, seldom if ever does the responsibility for everything that befalls a driver not doing well rest solely on their team. Or so much as primarily. The fury of the fans flew fast and thick at Bristol this past March when McGrew chided Earnhardt on the radio to not lay down on hIm when a good run turned sour due to Dale Jr. speeding on pit road. However, lately how often have we seen him drive like he did during the last lap of this year’s Daytona 500 when he tore through the field like a man possessed? Not very.

  Winning in NASCAR requires many things. Featured among them is focused anger, the will to win regardless of cost. Mumbled comments delivered with head hung low is not said focused anger’s hallmark. I don’t know what’s eating Dale Jr. It’s not my business to know. What I do know is if he wants to get back to being Dale Jr. he needs to feed it something other than himself. Quickly.

• Today’s video is brought to you courtesy of the mindset that empty sections of stands at Dover are really no big deal because there were a lot of people there anyway. Please stop pretending it’s 2005, kids.

In a way, it’s good to have something like NASCAR during times such as these.  It reminds us we have an incomparable gift, namely the luxury to watch cars drive fast and turn left, or as will be the case this coming weekend in my backyard left and right.  We can argue about who’s who and what’s what knowing we need fear nothing other than splashing from the occasional beer spilled in the stands, not our neighbor’s or our own blood spilled in the streets.  The most violence we’ll see is an easily ducked right hand from a drunken aficionado of a driver we detest.  Bullets are far less generous when avoidance time draws near.

And so talk about NASCAR I shall, starting with this past Sunday’s race at Michigan although when it comes to discussing this turgid affair the less said the better.  Given how one of the intents behind the new car was generating at least some racing action at cookie cutters such as the mother of all cookies, i.e. Michigan, noting one needed a package or two of Mother’s cookies to munch on in order to have something to do as the race trudged forward it’s more than safe to say said intent remains far from fulfillment.  It was amusing at the end watching Mark Martin tell the kids as in Greg Biffle and Jimmie Johnson run along ahead and play now, which they did to the point of both running out of fuel, then smilingly slipping past both for the win.  But dramatic?  Exciting?  Uh-uh.  Watching root beer go flat has more action.

In other news, Goodyear has from all accounts found a tire combination for next month’s Brickyard that won’t involve all parties concerned with the possible exception of the pace car having to come in every ten laps — literally — for new tires.  For everyone’s sake I hope they’re right.  When instead of the national anthem everything sings in unison “Dust In The Wind” as a tribute to the powdery rubber drifting across the track you have an issue.  And a humiliating embarrassment.

Welcome information: Johnny Benson has been released from the hospital after suffering burns and broken ribs in an accident last Saturday.  This happened during a race he wouldn’t have been in had his truck team not shut down due to SPEED not liking his potential sponsor being a gun manufacturer.  Thanks, guys.

Note regarding Danica Patrick and NASCAR: Not.  Gonna.  Happen.  Her red and khaki firesuit with IRL logo permanently attached will be ready in plenty of time for the press conference during which GoDaddy president Bob Parsons and Chip Ganassi will reveal they are in fact brothers.  Ever seen pictures of those two?

A far more likely import scenario than Danica to NASCAR is one or more foreign car manufacturers find a large “Welcome” sign outside Brian France’s office, as he has stated.  Wherever he’s at this evening, Roger Penske is smiling broadly.

Finally, a hopefully final word on Kyle Busch and race win trophies: perhaps he should ask Carlos Pardo’s family how much one can be worth.  Sorry to end on a downer, but life can be that way sometimes.

• You have to love NASCAR’s logic about the rash of pit road speeding penalties during the Nationwide race at Kentucky tonight.  “Of course our equipment’s right!  If it wasn’t, everyone would have been caught speeding!”  Um, sure.

• In the “we know life’s not fair but come on” category, at last report Johnny Benson was in serious condition after an accident in a supermodifieds race Saturday… a race he wouldn’t have been in had his truck team not folded earlier this week due to lack of sponsorship.  Which wouldn’t have been the case since he actually had a sponsor lined up, but the PC police at SPEED said they wouldn’t show the truck because the sponsor was (horrors!) a gun manufacturer.  Which leads to the question why they have no problem with the GunBroker.com sponsorship carried by Jason White’s truck.  Nice.  Sleep easy, SPEED execs.

That said, I’m still more than a little reticent to fully embrace the sport this year.  The fact that races such as the two most recent have been the exception and not the norm has much to do with this.  Dull is dull, and follow the leader is dull.  However, this isn’t the primary reason.

I was only half-joking in yesterday’s post about the way things will be going in the near future.  Chrysler is already in bankruptcy, and GM is standing at its door.  Unless the current administration deems it beneficial for the UAW to maintain manufacturer support for NASCAR, it’s going to go bye-bye for all Chevrolet and Dodge teams.  That’s bad in an era where everything comes with a massive price tag.

I’m still looking for a reason to believe that things will work out and NASCAR will continue to thrive.  It’s strange to think of a sport where television ratings and attendance are noticeably lower than before as thriving, but in today’s economy any entity that’s still making money is thriving and I have yet to hear anyone say that NASCAR is bleeding red ink.  As to why the ratings and attendance have dropped, the reasons are clear: dull races and the dismal performance thus far of Dale Earnhardt Jr.  A cookie cutter snoozefest ending with the #88 in Victory Lane will find the former immediately forgotten as the latter is celebrated.  Bank on it.

So yes, I’m rather reluctant to get all that fired up about NASCAR right now.  Hopefully things will work out.  In the meanwhile, nothing to do but hope the next race is as good as the last two.  And wonder what’s next.

Despite the administration’s admitted unfamiliarity with NASCAR, the spokesperson insisted this would not be a problem.  “Banks, auto industry… look, we’ve already got money and cars covered.  What else is there to know?  Mash the gas pedal and go.  No big.”

A series of changes to the series will be immediately implemented.  These include:

• Redistribution of salaries and sponsorship money in order to create a more equitable pay situation for all involved.  “We don’t care how popular this Dale Earnhardt Jr. is,” the spokesperson sniffed.  “Look at where he is in the standings.  Obviously he’s not earning everything he’s getting.  Ship some over to Dave Blaney and David Gilliland.  It’s only fair.”
• The aggressive implementation of a diversity program among the drivers.  Starting this Saturday at the all-star race, Danica Patrick and reigning F1 champion Lewis Hamilton will be part of the NASCAR scene.  “Obviously we’d prefer if Ms. Patrick were more modest in her choice of apparel, but we’re willing to overlook that,” stated the spokesperson.  He added that Hamilton was being sent by the British government as a gift in exchange for DVDs with the correct region code this time.  When asked whether Hamilton had any objections to the change in racing series the spokesperson replied, “Not really.  Monte Carlo, Martinsville… what’s the difference?  He’s too busy driving to do any sightseeing anyway.  Besides, we have it on good authority he can’t wait to try one of those hot dogs.”  A question about the drivers ability to adapt to the different car was immediately met with this assertion: “C’mon.  Four wheels is four wheels.  What possible difference could there be?  If anything this’ll be way easier for both of them.  Only have to worry about turning right twice a year.  See?  It’ll be half the work!  They’ll be grateful.”
• The redirection of prize winnings, with 80% of all monies paid out going to the UAW benefits fund.  “These are the people who build the cars,” the spokesperson thundered.  “It’s only right they should share in the reward for their being raced for profit.”  When informed that there is in fact nothing stock in what NASCAR runs as the cars are built by hand by their respective teams the spokesperson replied, “Oh.  Look, let’s kind of keep that under our hat, okay gang?”  The media immediately agreed.
• The announcement that Digger is now covered by the Endangered Species Act listing computer animated gophers as being threatened with extinction.
• The appointment of John Daly as NASCAR media czar.  “He has everything the job requires,” the spokesperson noted.  “He’s an expert because he says he is, he takes offense whenever someone looks at him sideways, he has an opinion on every little everything, he acts like he’s the divinely appointed savior, he pretends to be the people’s champion when in truth he wants it to be all about him, he needs to be the center of attention 24/7, and he follows the President on Twitter.  What more do you need for a government gig?”
• The mandate that all cars be converted by 2010 to using renewable energy.  “You know what kind of carbon footprint these things are leaving?  Some solar panels on the roof will take care of that.  Besides, angle ‘em right and they’ll act as a spoiler.”

“It’s like this,” the spokesperson said in conclusion.  “We’re the government.  We know what’s best.  Sure, there’ll be some hollering from drivers and team owners — who are on notice, by the way, that we reserve the right to nationalize them if they don’t play ball.  It’s like the good old days before AT&T was broken up.  Remember, we don’t care.  We don’t have to.  We’re the phone company… er, government.”

Part of that may well include getting back into what I once so dearly loved, namely making my own music.  The guitar is being dusted off more often; the stores are being scrutinized more closely.  Been listening to a ton of guitar music lately, which I define as that where the guitar is at the front regardless of genre.  Rory Gallagher’s been the main man, as I attempt to assimilate his vast body of work and understand his magic.  His was music from heart and soul.  While at my best I’m 1/100th of 1% of the player he was — and as rusty as I am I’m hardly at my best — the goal is to play that way; from the heart.

Hopefully soon I’ll start writing from the heart as well.