Talladega Trilogy

Lord of the Dings, the latest  trilogy of films from NASCAR Productions, is already a smash hit across the land… emphasis on smash.  Here’s a brief encapsulation:

Part One: Fellowship of the Wrecks

In a desperate effort to free the land of Talladega from the dreaded nemesis Nielsen and its henchmen Empty Seats, an intrepid band of warriors sets out to conquer all by mastering the Ring of High Banking.  Unfortunately, half of the warriors succeed only in mastering the art of wiping themselves and each other out before they even get out of town.

Part Two: The Two Dozen Towers

The remaining warriors try to decide which one will be the leader.  They all take turns at it, forming temporary alliances in order to reach the top, then decide they don’t really want to be there as they let someone else assume the position.

Part Three: Return of the Keselowski

The journey reaches its end as Sir Carl of Allergy Medication, who had spent the entire journey trying to not be seen, suddenly surges ahead in an attempt to be the ring master.  Unfortunately, his efforts are thwarted when a chance encounter with Sir Brad of Miccosukee causes his pet duck to take flight, bringing him along with it for the ride.

Can hardly wait for the sequel… actually, yes I can.