What Could Be More Popular Than A Mark Martin Win?

“Okay, everyone.  This meeting of the Super-Secret Society of NASCAR Grand Poobahs will come to order.  Now, the first order of business.  Am I safe in assuming all present were pleased with the outcome of this past weekend’s race?”

(murmur of agreement)

“Good!  I dare say this is easily the most popular win thus far this year.  What could be more popular than a Mark Martin win?”

“As I thought.  Now…”

“Um… excuse me, but a point needs to be raised here.”

“Yes, yes, what?”

“There’s no denying the win was popular.  I can’t imagine anything else being as popular.”

“We’ve already established that.  Do you have anything to add?”

“Well… I don’t mean to offend anyone.  But we shouldn’t let the race outcome obscure the fact that the race itself wasn’t very good.”

“Is that all that important?  Consider the outcome!  It was perfect?  What could be more popular?”

“Yes, it was popular.  But the race itself?  As I was trying to say, it was more of the same thing that’s been happening all year. Get out front, stay out front.  Sure, you’d see some shuffling in the pack.  But genuine lead battles?  Almost never.  More than two or maybe three cars with any legitimate shot at victory?  There wasn’t any of that.  Our television ratings are in the dumpster.  Why?  Because we’re not giving people a good product to watch.  We need to fix that.”

“Your negative attitude is beginning to wear on me.  There’s more than enough of that going around.  If the result is pleasing, people don’t remember the race all that much.  And need I remind you Mark Martin won?  I’ll say it again: how could anything be more popular than that?”

“What does it matter who wins if no one is watching at the end?  Look.  It’s time we admit there’s a problem.  The new car is abominable when it comes to something people can race each other with.  Yes, it’s safer than what we had before.  But can’t we keep the safety while getting together with the teams and asking them what they think should be done to generate better action?  You can’t count on popular wins alone to being back the viewers we’ve lost.”

“That’s enough.  Obviously you’re not getting at what we’re talking about.  So far this year we’ve had Jeff Gordon win and Mark Martin win.  Tony Stewart looks like he’ll be winning before long.  All we need now is for Dale Earnhardt Jr. to get off the schnide and everything will be fine.  Everything!  That’s all we need to get back on top!”

“Well, that and maybe some kind of tie-in with cute sweet adorable puppies…”