The 24 Virus

Although careful not to label it an epidemic, a cotillion of leading physicians yesterday warned the nation about a sudden onset of peculiar behavior caused by what has been labeled “the 24 virus.”

“Darndest thing I’ve ever seen,” one doctor reported.  “All of a sudden, the ER was crammed full of people dragged in their by their wife or husband or whoever.  And they all were suffering from the exact same symptoms.  Weirder than weird.”

The symptoms include:

• Uncontrollable smiling;
• Unexplainable mirth;
• Saying nice things about gophers.

“I’m worried sick,” said one husband who didn’t want to give her name.  “Haven’t seen the wife act like this since our daughter dumped that boyfriend of hers with the full body tattoo and pierced everything.  One minute she was fine, next minute she’s dancing around the living room.  With the curtains open!  I can only imagine what the neighbors were thinking.”

There is some speculation the disease may have come over from Europe, specifically France.  “I’m of the opinion there is definitely some kind of eating disorder involved,” one doctor commented.  “Why else would you have so many people suddenly saying how much they love ‘le tart?’  Who eats tarts in the afternoon?”

Other common statements by those afflicted are puzzling experts.  “These people couldn’t all possibly have graduated from the University of Hawaii, yet they go on and on about ‘rainbow warriors.’  And to a one they’re all talking about joining the National Guard!  Haven’t seen this much unexplainable mass behavior since the last Presidential election.”

The most baffling aspect of “the 24 virus” is how in unison those displaying its symptoms suddenly break out in song:

[youtube BgkHWE92UMU nolink]

“It could be worse,” one doctor sighed.  “At least it isn’t the 88 pandemic.”