The Difference Between Tomfoolery And Being A Fool

As you probably gathered from the previous post, I’m not much for April Fools’ Day.  Not that I’m averse to spinning yarns, mind you.  But on April first, no.

That said, a good April Fools’ Day joke is always appreciated; the straightforward presentation of something utterly ridiculous yet so skilfully stated there’s a moment of belief before the “um, wait a minute…” kicks in and you enjoy the joke.  Below is the best example of this I know, presented on a British predecessor to 60 Minutes back in 1957:

[video http://www.diecast-dude.com/gac/bbc_spaghetti_trees.flv nolink]

Genuine brilliance.

Compare this with the clumsy clownishness of Car And Driver.  Yesterday, its attempt at an April Fools’ Day joke was a phony news article asserting that the Obama administration had told GM and Chrysler they would both have to end their participation in NASCAR as part of being provided any further financial assistance by the federal government.  Oh ho ho chortle chortle.  Aren’t we clever.

No, not really.

Try morons with a capital M.

As outlined a couple of days ago, both GM and Chrysler are in dire straits; corporations facing a double barreled shotgun loaded with decades of skating on name alone while other manufacturers surpassed them in product quality and the impossibility of maintaining competitive pricing due to the burden of insane labor costs.  The moment they went cap in hand to Washington their fate was placed in even further jeopardy than had they pulled the plug by declaring bankruptcy and throwing themselves on the mercies of a judge in the hope of obtaining relief from the union benefits costs bleeding them dry.  Does anyone with a brain actually think a Democratic administration and congress is going to offer these companies financial aid while simultaneously allowing anything to transpire with said companies that would impinge upon what the UAW and its members enjoy regardless of the cost?  No f’n way.  So while politicians hammer away at the management of these companies — and they are hardly without culpability in all this — to the level of the White House being empowered to directly interfere with the operation of a non-publicly held entity, so much so it forced out its CEO, the unions continue to receive nothing but lip service and stalling tactics so they can maintain their present position of gorging themselves no matter the cost.

The government has dictated and will continue to dictate the terms under which GM and Chrysler can do business.  These terms will be strictly for the benefit of the UAW, not the companies or their stockholders.  Ignore the rhetoric.  There has been no addressing the viability of GM and Chrysler in any of the moves taken thus far by Washington.  It is the same shortsighted approach taken by the unions for years.  They see their employers as infinitely wealthy; sources of unlimited remuneration with no possible end of the cash flow.  Surprise, you’re wrong.

Now, how does this affect NASCAR?

Setting aside the draconian possibility of either or both companies declaring bankruptcy and as part of their agreed upon reorganization ending all team support, or folding altogether, it takes no paranoid fantasy to envision the present political leadership, its hands firmly on the marionette strings otherwise known as government loans to which GM and Chrysler are firmly attached as their sole lifeline, dictating that whatever dollars are currently being spent on NASCAR be funneled toward a continuation of propping up the unions.  Washington does not know the first thing about marketing, and it does not care about the will of the people when said people are viewed with disdain for being likely supporters of whichever party is not currently in control.  You think it gives a rat’s ass about us rat bastards and our redneck entertainment of watching cars drive in circles?  Get real.

So tell me again how Car and Driver thought it was being funny.

Adding insult to insult, the magazine has reacted to the anger over its failed joke by first pulling the story and offering a non-apology (“if we offended anyone,” blah blah blah) and then pulling this in favor of a boastful note about its alleged tradition of such pranks and would you look at all the publicity we got from people who otherwise wouldn’t give us the time of day.  Yeah, we’re really happy for you that you were mentioned in the Huffington Post.  In the real world, people would be fired for such garbage.  In Car and Driver‘s world, it’s cause for celebration.  Whatever.

The sport we love is facing very real problems, and Car and Driver‘s response is making jokes.  At least we now know where they stand on things.  Here’s hoping they’re not standing for long as they drop dead in the parade of failed magazines.  And does us a favor, will ya?  Don’t leave a mess on the carpet when you keel over.