Hang On, Someone’s On The Phone

This weekend, the Cupsters plus claims jumpers and truckers will be doing some California screamin’ as they tackle Auto Club Speedway in not-so fabulous Fontana for the second race of the season.  The… hang on, there’s the phone…

“Hello?  Yes, operator?  Will I accept a collect call from one D. Gopher?  Sure, why not.”

“Digger!  What are you doing calling me so early the morning? It’s… now… now, Digger, what’s wrong?  Stop crying, get a hold of yourself and tell me what’s the matter.”

“No, everyone doesn’t hate you.  Come on.  Just because a few tired old men and grumpy Gus writers who either think they’re the show or wish they were have been slagging on you doesn’t mean anything.  I know for a fact the ‘Don’t Dis The Dig’ club has at least fifty thousand members already and is growing by leaps and bounds.  Don’t let some people who are always negative about everything get you down.”

“Now… now Digger, don’t go crying again.  I already told you everything’s fine.  Don’t worry about those people who don’t understand sports are supposed to be fun and entertaining.  Besides, you’re in California!  Peace and love, man!  Grab a board and catch a few waves.  It’ll do you good.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.  As long as NASCAR’s in California I wish the race was at Irwindale instead of Fontana too.  Best track there is: short, wide, plenty of passing and action on every lap.  Awesome place.  Maybe someday.  But, no sense complaining about stuff you can’t do anything about.”

“Hope it doesn’t rain too.  You nearly drowned out there in Daytona last weekend.  Got your cameras all ready?  Good.  Yeah, lots of work in such a big place.  Tough getting good angles at a pretty flat two mile track.”

“So what’s the word on what we can expect to see this weekend?  Yeah, what I said yesterday.  Brutal place to make a pass for the lead.  Get up front, stay up, shuffling in the pack but when it’s one on one unless the car behind is way faster you can almost forget about it, especially with the aero push coming into play.  Favorites?  Roush drivers, Hendrick, Gibbs.  Be interesting to see how the Petty cars do; this track is the first true test of engineering mettle each season.  Well, hopefully there won’t be one dominant car and we’ll get some good racing action.”

“Okay, gotta scoot.  Thanks for calling.  And I wouldn’t worry about Annie saying she’s not spending a weekend in southern California hanging out at the track and talking about going to Hollywood to see some movie stars.  I… what?  She wants to go with the Aflac duck and see the Oscars?  Again, not to worry.  He prefers blonds.”